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(June 17, 2002)

well I never expected that

USA 2 Mexico 0

Mexico were crap, frankly. They started brightly enough, but the first US goal seemed to just depress them. They pushed hard for a while, but after the second goal they just gave up on football and turned to the kind of mindless anti-American violence this column obviously deplores.

The USA now have a quarter-final against the Germans, which means one of them will be in the semis, where Spain or Italy will squash them like a bug.

Brazil 2 Belgium 0

The Belgians actually did really well, Mpenza looking very lively and Wilmots nearly connecting a couple of times, but the Brazilians scored twice and that was that really.

Brazil now meet England, as you may have heard. England need to be careful with them, but they don't need to be scared.

World Cup commentators really ought to be locked in a room and made to read an atlas for a few hours before they're allowed anywhere near a microphone. An unidentified voice (well it was early) described Mexico as being in South America, so his colleague corrected him - Mexico is apparently now in Central America. When I was at school, everything from Greenland down to Chiapas was North America. I suppose now everything south of Tijuana has merged into one undifferentiated mass of sombrero-wearing campesinos, all chewing coca leaves and charging across the pampas with cries of "death to the gringos" and "viva Tequila".

Andy Townsend managed to cap that by pointing out that now Belgium had been eliminated, that was 3 Scandinavian teams gone in 3 days. Never mind, I'm sure he knows where Ireland is.

Paul Gascoigne did start the tournament with "Senegal? Never heard of the place", but at least he admits his ignorance. What an inspiring example to wife-beating lardbuckets everywhere.

posted by Jon 20:00
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