A dieter diarises (not a dieter’s diaeresis, which would make me a diëter)
Day 10 Today I weigh half a kilo less than I did yesterday. At this rate, I will reach the ethereal plane the day after Valentine’s Day.
Day 12 Today I have gained 200 grams. At this rate by Valentine’s Day there will be one ethereal being and one big fat blob. I feel like Schrodinger’s cat.
My brain and body differ on the efficacy of my new diet. My body thinks it’s fine, and has entirely stopped hurting me. My brain seems to believe I’ve just forgotten about all the most important food groups, so it’s decided to keep showing me pictures of them until I remember.
Day 15 Yesterday I ate a grand total of 983 calories, and today I weigh 200 grams more. I may think I’m living like a ninth century Northumbrian monk, but my body obviously thinks 983 is a feast, and more than enough to put a little bit by for a rainy day. Oh, cold, hard flesh you are the nemesis of all my hopes and dreams.
Day 16 Today I weigh 500 grams less, and have hit a new low weight. On reflection, yesterday may have been an over-reaction.
Since August 6th, I have eaten an average of 1008 calories less than my daily maintenance level, with a high of 1858 and a low of 205 calories saved. More importantly, I have been experiencing an unfamiliar emotion which I can only guess must be some form of self-respect.
